Fear of Knowing

Most people are sadly unaware of the most basic causes of their suffering. It’s as if they walk through life with a pebble in their shoe. They complain and cry out loud to everyone about their suffering without ever taking notice to the reasons why. 

For those blessed with some Self-knowledge, it’s hard not to feel like the smartest kid in the class. One begins to wonder if most of the population isn’t severely retarded in their spiritual development. You want to shake them and say, “Hey, you’ve got a huge f****ing rock in your shoe and ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS TAKE IT OUT!”  I know, ignorance is hard-wired and maya is a clever trickster, but still, it’s hard not to feel like the inmates have taken over the asylum most days.

I suppose Vedanta’s explanation is that we’re in a sort of karma matrix until we gain enlightenment. But even then, we still have our leftover karma to deal with. In other words, you’re stuck in this kindergarten until you finally figure it out and until then, you better find a way to deal with all the other snot-nosed kids! 

The conundrum is that the snot-nosed kids aren’t so stupid. Some of them are actually quite smart (in a clever sense, that is). In fact, many of them are smarter than you! The problem is they can’t see. A blind man may have great intelligence, but no amount of smarts is going to make him see color without a pair of eyes. For whatever reason, the kids’ passion for fiercely pursuing objects and experiences that promise ever-lasting happiness always overrides the inevitable sting of suffering that accompanies it. Sadly, it’s not until the suffering goes deep enough that the search for Self-knowledge becomes a possibility (and even then, a little grace is needed). 

All of man’s problems are due to ignorance. And what does it lead to? Desire. But perhaps more so, fear. Ignorance is intelligent and fear is its insurance that only a handful of people ever get to the bottom of what’s causing them to suffer. 

We desire many things to help make us feel whole, but mostly we fear understanding why we feel incomplete in the first place. We know there’s something in our shoe, but lack the courage to take it out.

From "The Broken Tusk - Seeing Through the Lens of Vedanta"